Afternoon Delight

It never fails that wherever I am there is something happening. Yesterday afternoon around 5:30pm I got in the shower before heading out for the evening. When I was walking out of my house to leave I notice this (pictured) across the road from the driveway. I went up to the cab and looked inside and there was no one or no corpse inside and by this time Applejax the neighbor was walking by with Beagle the Beagle and said that the man was drunk and had ran from the scene just seconds after the crash. This is where the truck wound up, but it had gone in and out of the ditch at least three times. Had it been on the other side of the road he would've hit my car parked in the drive. People do a minimum of 70MPH down my nameless street, so it wouldn't surprise me if he was doing that when he hit the ditch. I didn't even bother calling police; I didn't want to get involved or miss my date with SGW. Apparently the guy skipped out on work for the afternoon and decided to nurse his blues with some holy water at the town bar. THEN, early this morning when I was driving home (around 2:30am) I was pulled over for no reason other than to see if I was drunk. I wasn't speeding, swerving, nothing. I have a clean driving record. The cop literally said "I am just checking to see if you are drunk." He ran a red light just to pull me over for this. He also asked if I had any drugs in the car ... who in their right mind would say "yes, I do." I didn't, for the record. I don't do drugs, nor do I drink. The cop was so close to my face I thought we were on a third date or something. He did have pretty brown eyes and I do melt over men in uniforms, but he talked like Batman from The Dark Knight — like he needed a Ricola™ or something, or like a smoker talks when they have ruined their vocal cords. Thank God he didn't look at the front of my car, someone stole my license plate last week and I'm not getting the new ones until the current ones, er one, expires at the end of this month.